Hey Team Taylen. It's another week at the house. Like I hate vulnerability! Like you're weak if you're vulnerable! Like suck it up and move the hell on! Why the hell are you still sobbing about it?! I mean in my opinion, that shows how weak you clearly are. Like you can't be weak in the real world. Wanna know why?! Because they will chew you up and spit you out.
I had to sit there and listen to everyone cry their heart out and whine. And I'm like STFU! Move on with your life. There's nothing that I can't stand more than someone who stays stuck in the past and is weak! What the hell is wrong with you?! Don't be weak! There is enough weak people in the world as it is. So when it was my turn I just said my sister.
And then they tell me I'm gonna have to try harder. Are you serious? I'd rather be strong and independent then weak minded and passive agressive, which most of those other girls are. I don't let people see my weaknesses! I'm not about to let people see my vulnerabilites on display.
So I'm sure you all have been asking........why is she this mean? Who did this to her? Was she always like this? Well here's your answer:NO! I was not always like this. Okay, there you got your answer! I wasn't born being the person I am! But I am the person I am now! So get the hell over it! I am who I am! Either you like it or you don't!. I'm sick of people complaining about me. Because it's not gonna change anything. I'm STILL HERE.
But then I also realized something. I was singing and I just saw Karmen appear. She looked at me and just gave me a look like she was better. Like she was actually disappointed in me. And I said to myself Taylen Renee Parker don't fall to this and I fell. When I was little, I used to watch my sister do all of these awesome things. She was in beauty pagents, she could sing, she could dance, she was beautiful. And I told her that one day I was gonna be just like her and she told me Taylen, you're ugly, you have two left feet, and you can barely hold a note. You don't know how heart-wrenching that was for me. And as I grew older, I decided to be more like her. I took dancing classes, singing lessons, gymnastics, cheerleading............and she would always ridicule me. Tell me that seeing me do all that stuff made her sick. She said I was a waste to my family. And at time, I just didn't get it. How could my own sister hate me so much? She was my admiration and she wished I was never born! And then what hurt the most is when she stole my crush from me. I had finally got the nerve to admit that I had feelings for him and I caught them in her bedroom making out. I cried and asked her what the hell did she do that for and all she said was:Taylen, did you really think he'd want you when he could have me? At that moment, I was through. I said f*ck it! I swore to never ever let anyone hurt me like that again.
So I had to perform my last performance song. Honestly, I was gonna perform Toxic by Brittney Spears and then I saw Gray and my whole feelings changed. So when I performed Finally, I just thought of how awesome Gray was. I think that he's like honestly, one of the best guys I've met. And believe me that's a compliment for a guy. Because I've been with a lot of them and this time with him it was different.
The end result was that clearly I'm still here. I got called back. And even though, I'm happy; I feel like I'm swallowing a bitter pill. And it sucks because I don't want to feel this way but I do.
The worst part was seeing Gray go home. A part of my heart literally cracked. He wasn't supposed to leave this early but he did. At this point, my relationship with Gray isn't over. Something about Gray literally took over me. And I don't think that even if I could I would be able to let this go. I don't know what I'm feeling. But I'm feeling something and I guess I like it. I don't think that Gray was just here for anything. Clearly he wanted to win and I always felt something. And I don't think he was just here for that. I think that we were meant to see whether we could have something. And I still think we can.
At this point, my goal has became very clear. I need to win. I'm tired of all the bullsh*t in the house. I feel like it's just boiling up and there's so much damn tension. And I'm sick of it. I'm done being nice. Like all these people just really think I'm just a joke. But they're about to realize, that I'm just getting started.
I'm done. Everyone keeps talking about me, well I'm about to give them something to talk about.Karmen you created a bitch and all the members in the house that keep aggarvating me you've created a even worse bitch. Now it's on.
I'm about to start knocking people off like dominos. It's nothing personal. But I'm done. And I'm gonna make sure that the people that have been hating on me get what they deserve. I will leave smoke on the stage every week! I will set fire to the stage.
So to my haters in this house. Your days are numbered. I will crush you and wipe the stage with you. I'm gonna dominate all of your sorry asses!
Goodnight to all my fans. And you guys might wanna stay tuned. Because I'm about to set off one of the most epic bloodbaths ever! You thought I was a bitch now. Just wait and see. Cause bitches you don't know me!
I promised on chat that we would meet Karmen and here she is.